For this and other reasons, are outdated terms, and are used in this article only in direct quotations.)At first, Nomi said, she was hesitant to jump into being sexually active: “I didn’t want to give my vagina to every guy, because I was like, ‘Duh, it’s brand-new! I’m not getting pleasure.” The first time she got head, it basically felt like nothing, so she called up her BFF, a cis girl, in a panic.
’” When she did start having sex, it felt kind of weird for a while. “I was like, ‘Girl, is it normal to just feel like you’re rubbing on a carpet when a guy is eating you out?!
But I do know well that, when dealing with sexuality or any other sensitive topic, it is generally useful to hear the stories of people with experiences similar to your own, because it helps you to better understand your own experience and your own body.
It helps you to not feel so fucking alone, basically.
“Sometimes, if I’m dating a guy but I don’t want to sleep with him right away, he’s like, ‘Oh, because it doesn’t work.’ Or people think you can’t orgasm. But if they knew how beautiful and how natural the vagina really is, and how it’s so in tune with your mind and your body, I think people would start seeing it as sexy rather than as a science experiment.We experience discrimination disproportionately to the rest of the community. But according to my friend Nomi Ruiz, this has inadvertently created a taboo in the trans community: Nobody talks about sex.Our unemployment rate is twice the national average [ . Nomi is a transgender singer and host of the podcast .Fuck.’”(It’s important to note here that Nomi’s experience is not every trans woman’s experience.The process of altering one’s birth sex is complex, happens over a long period of time, and does not always involve surgery.