I am not going to argue that anyone and everyone who is going to try Poly MUST be out as being Poly.
Really, people need to exercise discretion about a great many things in their life, this is no different from any somewhat controversial choice that a person might make, based on the morals and values of their community.
This is one of the most sought-after arrangements when a couple new to polyamory looks to open their relationship.
Couples usually discover such a woman is almost impossible to find. So, you just posted on this really cool Poly forum that your friend told you about.
People can actually be perpetuating unhealthy, dysfunctional standards and practices while being completely unaware that they are part of the problem.
Much to their mutual surprise, neither party completely dismissed the idea (maybe someone did the first time, but they came back to it later, and finally the idea stuck).
However, as you might guess, I’m going to point out that there are some problems.
One of the first problems is when you don’t talk about your preexisting expectations up front.
You posted that you and your partner are ready to open up your relationship and find a special person to add to it. One thing that many of them said was that you are a “Unicorn Hunter”.
For some reason, a ton of people seemed upset at your post and started replying with a bunch of hostile, snarky comments that didn’t describe you at all. Not knowing what they meant, you asked your good friend Google what a “Unicorn Hunter” was, and you figured that out. Why did all of these people have such a major stick up their butt? The fact that you are here, reading this, implies that you care.