You will be stranded in a dusty Hell, furnished in Biedermeier kitsch.And when you resist your transition into the Teutonic Upper Class, Aristo German Male will dump you for an Aristo German Female with higher cheekbones. Running around Hamburgs Alster when you fancy going shoe shopping, or forcing you to go Nordic Walking on a Sunday morning when youd still rather be under your duvet stuffing yourself with scrambled eggs, Sporty German Male laughs in the face of blubber, Wiener Schnitzel and chips.Habitat: Weekend hunting parties hosted by random Barons; posh Berlin hotels that serve Five-O-Clock Tea, Viennas Opera Ball, Wimbledon, Ascot, Marthas Vineyard etc. Reminiscing about his time at English boarding school.Should they be inclined to work, they can likewise be found in the management of Germany's leading media outlets. The Pros: If youre English and homesick, Aristo German Male will happily indulge your need to take lots of holidays back to the homeland.Our advice: Be careful out there -- there is always a catch.ARISTO GERMAN MALE Daddy was the Kaisers favorite nephew. Its just a shame Germany got rid of their royals in 1918.It is perfectly possible for an attractive woman -- who in most countries wouldn't have a second to powder her nose from so much flirting -- to stand in the corner alone at a German party and not be approached a single time.Bottom line: If you want a relationship with a German dude, be prepared to do the heavy lifting yourself.
You will also have to give up chips, full-fat dairy products and red meat for as long as you go out with Sporty German Male.Intellectual German Male whiles away time by writing books, reading esoteric academic papers, starting discussions about German philosophers while smoking strong French cigarettes, drinking espresso, reading the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung and eyeing up diaphanous, high-cheek-boned French women. They are fond of saying things like, "The country I come from doesn't exist anymore." What happened to that good old collectivist spirit, eh? Often has an unhealthy obsession with stonewashed circa 1983 denim, Trabant cars and the German Baltic Sea coast. He may also have dreadlocks and often wears a scarf even when the sun is shining.Favorite Activities: Hiding copies of "The Da Vinci Code" in bookshops. The Catch: Every time you try and talk to him, hell be too busy reading or having important thoughts." The truth is: Intellectual German Male is probably a misogynist and, frankly, you never had a chance. Habitat: Look for Organic German Male in organic supermarkets (by the Tofu) and at anti-fur or anti-America demonstrations.Welcome to the lost world of Germanys redundant aristos.Theyve got no job, no real place in Germany s social democracy but theyre clinging on to their traditional status for dear life.