Our culture provides for meeting all other needs, especially the need for autonomy, but not for intimacy.
Within this framework, couples today must provide for each other more of the emotional needs that a larger community used to furnish.
As a result, we are without role models for the very relationships we need.
And rare were the parents who modeled intimacy for us; most were too busy struggling with survival requirements.
To use this conceit, there then sets in the state of disillusion. But we don't have the skills to work out the disappointments that occur.
Experience has demonstrated to me that the causes of behavior and human experience a complex and include elements that are biological, psychological, social, contextual, and even spiritual.But we wind up confusing the two and end up feeling betrayed or used when, as often happens, we fail to satisfy our need for closeness in sex.Shifts in our general views about what makes life worth living have also contributed to a new demand for intimacy. And they want it most in their intimate relationships.When I brought the boys together with their families, through processes I had not learned about in graduate school, it transformed the therapy. For the adolescent boys, their problems were typically rooted in the often-troubled relationships between their parents.They lacked the nurturing environment they needed for healthy growth.