It might not sound very romantic, but you can’t argue with stats and figures and following a set of guidelines will probably help you feel more comfortable when sending your first message.
Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails.
Your mother always told you so and you never really believed it too much, but the fact is that first impressions really count.
And this couldn’t be more true when it comes to contacting someone online.
I don’t smoke, but don’t mind if you do…Well, message me if you want to go out.” Messages like this are not only boring (if she wants to know about you she’ll either click on your profile or, even better, ask you), but they give no indication of why you want to go out with her. Try something like this instead: “Whoa, you studied abroad in Ghana? Once she laughs, she lets her guard-down a little, she thinks you’re funny, and probably smart. Did you ask her a question, did you set-up a joke she could build on?
Not that you have to turn into Seth Rogen all of the sudden, but in general, on the internet, humor is far less abrasive than, say, ardent fervor.
Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch.
(On How About We, this is the “I’m Intrigued” button, on OKCupid it’s a wink.) In general, this is not a good way for a guy to approach a girl on an online dating site.
Our subconscious tells us that it’s rude not to answer a question so your chances are increased ten fold by just asking.
Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.
“I studied architecture in college and studied abroad in Spain for a semester.
My perfect night in involves a bottle of wine and my Arrested Development DVDs. I’d love to go to Africa some day.” you), you’re already half-way there. Related: Online Dating 101: Sending a Second Message After you’ve composed your message, ask yourself what you would respond if you received this from someone.