Isn’t it only men, generally speaking, who have to deal with sexual refusal from their wives? I was either too tired, too stressed, wasn’t in ‘the mood,’ or some other reason.” Ah yes, back to the cliche’s. The way it makes me feel, of course, but also that I realize that he was telling the truth when he described how it made him feel years ago.
I knew better from other conversations with women, but stereotypes and assumptions are difficult to overcome when it’s presented as fact from high-profile directions. He would say that it made him feel ugly, unwanted, and unloved.
He described other things he felt such as being embarrassed and feeling that I wasn’t attracted to him.
I remember rolling my eyes, thinking that the only thing that bothered him about me rejecting him was that he wasn’t going to get the sexual release he wanted.
I don’t immediately feel a shot to my ego, though that usually comes later.
Study after study has indicated that, not just the quality of sex, but the quantity, leads to feelings of happiness, connectedness, closeness, and commitment.
I tossed away something that brought us closer together and refused to do something that brought him such joy.
Now I’m on the other side and I am miserable because of how it makes me feel and because of how guilty I feel for doing it to him years ago.” I had some thoughts for her and they are the same I’ll share with you. I encourage you to refer your spouse to this article because I believe that thinking through some of this will be helpful.
Having sex often and passionately is an extremely positive thing for your marriage!
Though you should be placing your spouse above yourself, if you aren’t there yet, consider your future self.