And while you’re wearing your holiday brights, make sure you… Impending Christmas and New Year’s can make even the most self-reliant single girl feel lonely and bereft as she bemoans the gulf between her current lot and her dreams of being in a committed relationship.The holiday season can also be tense for women with boyfriends – particularly when their hopes for the future are being obscured by his ambivalence or excuses.If you’re single these events can help you circulate in a social setting where men can find you. DO your own thing during the holidays, instead of relying on the guy you’re dating to make all the plans (and include you in them). – tried to impress a beau by creating a handmade card by cutting out little phrases and pet names from magazines, then gluing them onto construction paper. ” But they will also see your extremely generous gift as a symbol of your intense love – which they no longer have to win – and possibly, a reflection of your high expectations in return, which they may start wondering whether they can (or want) to fulfill.And if you’re attached, but feel your significant other may be taking you for granted then stop sitting home by the phone. If he hasn’t suggested spending the holidays together then make your own arrangements. Introduce him to your friends and family ONLY AFTER he has introduced you to his. At the time this seemed like a good idea, though in retrospect it’s mortifyingly psycho – an impression obviously shared by the object of my attention, since he dumped me right after the holidays! Another common dating mistake: buying presents for his mother, sister, secretary, etc.Keep busy, engage your mind, exercise your body and pamper your senses to avoid wallowing in or obsessing about what’s lacking in your life right now. DO start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions that can help you meet your romantic goals.
Speaking of pressure—men also have different views on gift-giving than women do.Enjoying your life to the fullest – and keeping busy with family, friends, work, and social engagements – reminds him you are an independent woman whose life does not revolve around him. If he feels you’re more serious about the relationship than he is, or that you’re moving faster than he wants to then he may start having doubts and possibly pull away, leaving you vulnerable and hurt. Men get overwhelmed when women go overboard in the gift department. thinking this will help build a pro-marry-you coalition of sympathetic females.If you’re just bursting with the giving spirit this season, then… Of course this is a year-round “do,” but the holidays often present additional opportunities to volunteer, which in addition to benefiting others, can benefit your love life as well. Aside from the immediate benefit of putting you in the flow of meeting men who share your charitable interests, volunteering will help refresh your perspective on what’s important in life, and renewing your sense of gratitude for the blessings in your life.As I tell the women I coach, try to set parameters around when you sign into your accounts.I usually suggest you confine checking to daytime hours on weekdays.