Again, I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment; I will only point out as a dating coach that it tends to lead to sub-optimal results from men because they didn’t have to do anything special to get into bed with you.
Note: there will be no comments about slut-shaming, since no one is shaming anyone, nor calling anyone a slut.
Which is why I’m not asking you to change yourself; only to change your choice of men.
Recently I was asked what percentage of my clients found love by changing their personalities vs.
I feel like I hurt a good man by trying to make a relationship work that was not the right “fit”. I mean, I understand we are all our own recipe (referring to Evan’s food mention above)…and I know some recipes don’t go with each other, but there has GOT to be one that fits better? I am trying to figure out why it’s so hard for me to be “mean” and say “this isn’t working for me”.
My brother, told me this: “Remember, there is no Mr. It’s a problem in many areas of my life: I am a pleaser, and don’t know “me”.
My mantra to women is to look for a complement, not a clone.
It affirms everything that I’ve ever written about sex and gender in a very logical, concrete manner. And if, due to equality, birth-control, libido, societal acceptance, and insecurity, many women are willing to have sex with men who don’t call, pay, commit, or make an effort, then those women are essentially teaching men that they do not have to behave well to procure sex.
LOVED this video the most out of what you have posted lately. Thank you thank you thank you for your informative blog!
Got divorced, dated too soon, wasn’t looking for serious but a realllllyyyy nice man took the courage to date me, a newly divorced woman.
Essentially, you’re trying to date yourself, with a penis. Add those all up, and you have a man who is really hard to land for a successful forty-year relationship. He wants a woman who is nurturing and thoughtful and supportive and patient and fun and playful and sexy.
That kind of thinking is a huge blind spot for many women. The only way to land a man like that is to give him what he can’t get anywhere else. This doesn’t mean that he is turned off or intimidated by your intelligence or ambition, but it’s merely a bonus.