If you’re not getting to know them or you are, and are experiencing things that are at the very least proceed with caution signals or at their worst, full on abort mission signals, this is because you’ve already decided to commit, regardless.
Maybe this is what scares me about some of the stories I hear – I know that dating can be tough, especially if you’re doing it online.
– They were too far along in investment and illusions to have their feet in reality enough to be working out whether this person was someone that they actually should be with.
Like the issue of common interests and sexual attraction, there is this dangerous assumption that someone who we find worthy of dating in the first place must be someone who is worthy of a relationship.
In fact, I in particular get men telling me again and again that it’s for sex and that we [women] should know this.
If you have a friend that you are beginning to have feelings for, this can be scary and confusing.
You may feel that you don’t want to jeopardize the friendship but you also don’t want to miss out on a good thing.
However, unless you’re superficial or living in Lala Land, the point of dating is to build on the attraction, get to know the person, and ensure that whatever ideas and assumptions you have are grounded in reality.
You need more than physical and sexual attraction – you should be getting an initial sense of their values and whether they treat you with care, trust and respect, and of course match words with actions.